Wednesday, May 27, 2009

I stand, I fall, I crawl.

I should scrawl something down tonight, if for nothing more than my sanity. I had to remove the Jake Gyllenhaal entry, it was not only unnecessary, but it was also bringing me a lot of unwanted attention. Anyway...

I keep smelling urine. Right now even, as I type this, and since lately I plan my life about 4 seconds into the future, I don't realize at this very moment that it is me producing the urine smell, well actually I do realize this, I do now, because it has been more than 4 seconds since I thought to look down toward the general area of the human anatomy where urine is produced, and so at this point, I've since looked down and seen the splotch on my shorts, but I'm trying to write this in real time, which is difficult because of the lag between thought and typing, so bare with me - now, in less than 4 seconds (which as mentioned before it has now been), I will look down and see dribble on my Nike shorts, the shorts I wear to bed, my pajama shorts, which are perforated, stretchy and blue, and might actually be wider than they are long, yep, there it is, corresponding exactly to where one would assume urine to appear if it were to appear on clothing, yes, this would be the spot, the place for urine to appear, and sure enough, there it is, urine. Inexplicably, slightly peeing my pajama shorts brings a smile. This is the perfect token to this gloriously cracked day. This day that should have set me back a marathon in reverse, has instead pushed me forward three more feet. I stand, I fall, I crawl, no matter, all three get me where I'm going, and speed is the least of my concerns. Pee is too. This is all nonsense. Good night.

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